Pass or Fail

Hi All, Salam...

Lamanya saya tak update kan? Busy? Duhh...Puhlizzz~ Am not really...But..kind of perasan busy...sigh~

Guys, you know lately, I AM soooo LAZY~ Feel like I dont wanna care about my final result. In my mind, I just said, "oki, let it be. Pass or fail, let it be. I dont even care anymore!"

Gosh, how and why on earth do I have such stupid thinking?

Am I that depressed?

Am I that fool?

Am I that useless?

Am I that crazy?

Oki, I guess, I AM too emotional. I guess I am not myself anymore. Coz I know, my old self will not say such things.

I know, my old self was really-really ambitious, focus, and eager to do the BEST.

So, after thinking awhile yesterday, I conclude that I cannot fail in this final exam coz it's not just about the result. It's more about me!!!

What will happen to me if I fail?

What will happen to my relationship with my mom if I fail? *coz you should know guys that my mom really put high  hope on me*

What will happen to the rest of my life? Will I have good friends after this if I fail my exams? or will they leave me alone? How do I face the world if I fail this important exam?

And..what will Allah think about me? Will He give me some more nikmat after this? Will He love me some more after this? Or maybe He will hate me as well like others?

Gosh~ These scary questions came to my mind yesterday and so, I think, I really2 think that I cannot live my life without good result.

I am not a high achiever, but I just cannot accept myself if I do not succeed in some important arenas, say, exams.

So, I dont wanna face that dark world...I wanna flying colours...I wanna succeed...Plz..plz..plz...now, I have less than 20 days before exam..Can I make it????

Guys, can I make it??????

Pray for me...I love myself so much and so I dont wanna make myself disappointed or upset...I wanna be happy, and happy will only come if I have good results...Guys, you maybe will say that my thinking is too simplistic or wutsoeva narrow thinking. But yea..this is me...I want to SUCCEED...

Love myself as always,

diDiE AiNoRi